April Athena -- love her.

Okay girls, If you don't follow any makeup guru's on youtube, but would like to start this is where I suggest going first. www.youtube.com/aprilathena7
I really really love April, she is so genuine and lovely. She introduced me to colored contacts and a certain 'sweet style' that I love. Let me know what you think!
OH And she is having an amazing give-away! check into that for more details!

have a joyful day!

the holidays.

It's been a while, so here's what we've been up to...

We chopped down a christmas tree for Chad's mom.

And had fun playing in the snow.

Christmas morning... fun as usual!

And we went to temple square...

finding my purpose. finding myself.

I am reading a wonderful book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling. You may have seen his programs on television. He is an inspirational speaker, and a really good one too. (in my opinion.) In this book he talks about living "in spirit" and that by having yourself be in this state of joy and inspiration you will be guided to your ultimate calling in life.
Lately, before I even started reading this book, I have been looking for my bliss... the thing that gives me true purpose and joy in my life. Or at least something that I enjoy doing.

So far, I've learned to take time for myself. Last week I did this very well, I took myself out to lunch, went shopping for myself, read my book, and wrote in my journal. It was good. I did feel a sort of sadness about being alone, but I also learned that I can't depend on others to make me happy. It took my a while to figure out how to ask myself, "What is it YOU want?" Most of the time, I am not even sure what it is I really want. I mean I have desires for the future, but right now?... it's not so easy to decide.
I see women around me who know exactly what they want and where they are going in their life. They are so driven and confident. I am very driven once I have decided what it is I want... it is just the deciding that gets me. I have so many facets of myself... how do I focus on one aspect and say "this is who I am, and that is what I want." ? Sometimes I am outgoing, strong-willed, excited, and enthusiastic! And other times I remind myself of a quiet librarian who freezes up when put into social situations. Who am I really?... I suppose I have to decide that for myself. :) hahah..
And perhaps there are many out in the world who feel this same way.
Afew years ago I was following a program lined-out in a book called The Artist's Way. This book is all about finding your inner creative self... good book. One assignment that is given is for you to write your top five other lives to lead. Here were mine... (mind you this is a few years ago... when I knew myself better)...

1. "I would work just to be able to dance. I wouldn't worry about nice clothes or an expensive car. I would work hard any place I could and during the evenings I would dance, Dance my heart out and feel so free! I would work my body to be the perfect ballerina and ballroom dancer. In my free time I would practice my own modern dance. I would have many close friends and live and breathe a world of motion art!!"

2. "I would live a 'Mother Teresa' kind of life! I would commit myself to serve all people I would find strength from God to lift others. I would walk the streets of Calcutta as a light in the dark. I would offer 'living waters' to all those in distress giving love to all people... a simple life of service."

3. "Living on teh 22nd floor of a large condominium building in downtown Salt Lake.. my home!! An Artist's haven! Ceiling high, book shelves made from beautiful cherrywood, red walls protraying the oil painting of my most creative ability. Always music playing, an area to cook delicious foods and have friends over for dinner. A safe place from the world and a place to gather with amazing people. A place of lerning , loving, creating, giving... a place to nurture a sad or lonely neighbor. A place of non-judgement. I could work at my home doing massage and processing or in a small office in downtown SLC. My office would be painted a true-green color. Small, just big enough to get the job done! My office would resemble much of my home. Peace would be my nature and love would by my gift. And of coarse to feed my soul & social life, I would dance and attend ballroom dance competitions. My life is balanced, healthy, happy, active, successful, encouraging, involved, loving, grateful, courageous! Artistic is my nature. I would be well known at the local music store and dance studio. Friends come and gather easily and frequently!"

4. "Live as a cow-girl -- yee haw!-- work on a ranch, ride horses, live in teh great outdoors! perhaps in teh mountains, small log home for me and my husband... away from most of the world. Spend nights fishing and singing! Study and meditate with my horses or alone."

5. "Teach! teach alternative medicine... inspire others to find their path. To have my own shool, store, etc."

Some of these make me laugh now, and others I can still see myself in them. Perhaps if I go back to the time when I wrote all of these "lives" down, I can start to remember who I am again. Maybe even discover what it is that I want right now in my life. :) wish me luck!
-Lesa.

alien girl

Have you ever been going along in your life, everything seems great... then all of the sudden you look at your life, your world and you hardly see yourself anymore? Instead it is a flood of stuff, clutter, busy work, bills, and everyone else's opinion all in your face. I felt this not too long ago. That is why I've decided to figure this out. I MUST find that joy, my purpose for exsisting, that space where everything seems good again. For some reason all of these thoughts are keeping me up at night... so I better find this "space" fast!-- so I can sleep. i feel like such an alien. haha

ginger cookies!

Yum... I made these ginger cookies. they are so... mmm... good.

I say you can never go wrong with Cinnamon, ground cloves, and ginger!

homemade english muffins

While listening to general conference Sunday morning, I decided I really wanted a breakfast sandwich. Allrecipes.com had a enlish muffin recipe I had to try... I think they turned out really good! They took over an hour to make but it was worth the wait!

a sea of pumpkins

I was driving in Orem the other day when I saw this front yard full of pumpkins! I thought it was so beautiful!

I just love the Fall. The colors are so amazing. The food is so amazing. Gathering with friends is amazing as well. What's not to love?

special lucky day.

Today I spent an amazing day with my sister-in-law, Rachel. It was so fun just to talk and shop... two of my favorite things.
I had class this evening... our professor held a 10 minute class and then let us leave! (I just love short classes)
Well, UVU was having bingo night... I couldn't resist. For prizes, I got a bunch of groceries PLUS I won the dvd "Letters to Juliet"... I've heard it's good. So, I was glad when I came home with two bags full of free groceries and a movie. lucky me.

cream puffs drizzled with chocolate

Today was a long beautiful sunday. I thought that these desserts would go perfectly to match such a day as today. puffs filled with banana pudding and drizzled with milk chocolate. (powdered sugar could be used on top as well.)

From Better Homes and Gardens.

!

Just discovered http://www.browneyedbaker.com/! love it.

Very excited to try making pizzelles...

dreams and traditions

One of my many life dreams is to travel the globe with Chad. First on Chad's list is Scotland... I think my top is the rest of the UK, India (because i've heard you'll never be the same after seeing India), Israel, Germany, New Zealand..

I've thought a lot about working in some kind of relief effort... I would love to help those in need all around the world. (Traveling plus service-- can't go wrong there.)

Anyway!!! the reason I bring all of this up is because the other day I was at Ross and found this box that had a pair of necklaces. on one necklace was an airplane with a little pearl, and the longer necklace had a little pendant of a passport. I thought is was SO cute! I thought I should get this to wear during school so I know why I am working so hard and to remind me of my goals and to keep focused on them even when life gets too hard. You wouldn't believe it but I didn't buy the necklace... I am having non-buyers-remors (?)

Have you ever had that happen to you?!!

on a totally different note, today is the first day of school for "my kids". Zack is starting first grade today and VJ is starting third grade. I am making chocolate chip cookies for when they arrive home. About a year ago I was thinking of our own future family and deciding that would be one family tradition; that I would make my kids a special 'after the first day of school' treat... friends are always invited to come too. I figured I would start the tradition early with my "practice kids" :) hope that's not bad to call them that. nevertheless, I hope they enjoy the cookies. I will also be taking some to my sister's kids today too.

news

So I added some songs to my playlist including some Tango songs... so sorry it's a random mix now but I hope you guys like it.. I don't know, do people even like music playing while reading a blog?? I do. ta ta.